The most effective technique to positive thinking
What if you could change your perspective on the problem or challenge at hand? What if I said it would take you less than a minute to move from dead end situation to a horizon full of new possibilities?
Sounds to good to be true? Right now it may seem so, because you’ve been stuck in this same way for a long time.
Read on and be prepared to learn
the most effective and surprisingly quick way to positive thinking.
how important is your perspective on life and what certain benefit it can give you
how to get a different perspective on life
Right now, your perspective may be limiting you. Read on and discover if this is true for you.
When something bad happens to you, do you believe you have no power over it? Perhaps you say to yourself - It’s the way it is and the way it aways will be?
Do you tend to see the worst in people or situations? Do you tend to expect the worst from people, even the loved ones?
Do you often say to yourself: Nothing ever works out for me. I am unlucky person.
Do you often feel ineffective in finding solutions to your problems and indulge in series of pity parties instead?
It’s your internal response that has a lot to do wit your experience. It’s about the meaning you attach to this experience.
Perspective is view, outlook, attitude you relate to what’s going on for you. It’s how we perceive what’s going on around us and it directly affects your experience of life.
To process information on daily bases, our brains use different filters to chunk down information into small manageable pieces. Our Brains do that based on our beliefs, values, memories, attitudes, decisions. Brain is genius which constantly works to make your life easier. However if the beliefs, values, attitudes you’ve formed are negative, it’ll affect what you see as this beautiful quote perfectly describes it
“The question is not what you look at, but what you see” - Henry David Thoreu
How do I reframe my negative thinking?
So overall if you don’t like the situation you’re faced with, the simple solution is to attach different meaning to it. This is what in NLP we call reframing, and it is as simple as it sounds. Most of the time, it is as simple as asking the right question.
Reframing is a tool we use in NLP to interpret events in ways that are useful to us. It’s a technique that turns problems into opportunities.
Before I’ll give you tips on how you can change your perspective from negative to more positive one, let me explain a bit more about it. There are two main types. Context and meaning reframing.
As I said, The meaning we place on the event depends on our filters. These filters such as beliefs, values are unconscious. Another component determining the meaning of an event is context in which it takes place.
So if the meaning of the event depends on the way we filter and interpret it and on the context, then altering the context or the way we interpret it will alter the meaning.
Simple example: I’m going to assume now as you’re reading my article, you’re someone who is constantly on the move, seeking ways to improve yourself and your life. You’re doer but the winter arrived, with its freezing temperatures and you are down with the cold. You’re upset because this is taking away time from you, the time you could have used to be productive.
As I have mentioned earlier, there are two types of reframing: context and meaning. So if I were to encourage you to ask yourself - What else could this situation mean or represent? You may answer something like this: this could be my chance to finally have a rest, or this could be my chance to catch up on reading books that have been sitting on my bookshelves for years.
Do you see how reframing works? You’re looking for the bright side, silver lining, the positive in the midst of negative situation.
Let’s try it with you now by getting different perspective. Think of the problem situation you’re facing. It could be something that is going on for you right now and you particularly dislike it.
Example: it takes you 40 minutes to commute to work and with the bad traffic your travel time goes up to an hour. This is something you consider as waste of time and even though you understand it’s necessity because you’ve got to get to work and it is not like you can leave your job, it’s annoying you daily.
Start with these two questions: what else could this mean? What’s positive about this? Is there any way you could use the travelling time in the positive and effective way? Is there any way, this is your chance to catch up on things you like to do but never have time for? Reading a book, listening to music, listening to audio course, reading The success magazine, playing words with friends…
Don’t despair, if those two questions don’t rely to your problem, I’ll be giving you more questions as we go along.
This can also be applied for the unwanted behaviour. Let’s say you developed unwanted habit of snoozing your alarm in the morning at it is starting to affect your days and your work.
Choose something concrete, don’t be vague here.
Once you’ve got unwanted behaviour in your mind, think of positive intention behind this behaviour. In NLP, we believe there’s positive intention behind every behaviour, so for this exercise purpose, take on this belief.
Once you understand that there is positive intention behind your behaviour, you’ll stop judging and criticising yourself.
With the example I’ve used with snooze button in the morning. My positive intention is to have a more sleep, therefore more rest. What’s yours?
If there was another way of accomplishing this positive intention, would you be interested in discovering it?
If you simply answered no, take a bit longer to explore positive intention.
After you said yes, take a 5 minutes to brainstorm ideas how else you could accomplish this positive intention?
In my short brainstorming, I’ve generated following options for myself:
I could agree with myself to allow me one snooze per morning.
I could agree to go to bed half hour or an hour earlier at night.
I could move my phone into different room, to make it impossible for me to hit the snooze button in the morning.
Here’s 6 steps process to changing your perspective
Identify the problem behaviour
Identify positive intention
Check with yourself - do I really want to do something about it?
Brainstorm different ways of achieving positive intention
Choose 3 new choices
Check with yourself - which one sounds good to me?
For context reframe, ask yourself: where might this be useful?
For meaning reframe: what else could this mean?
Simply by using reframing technique, you open up yourself to another view point.
If, by now, you’re thinking to yourself - this will not work for me, it does not sound like something I could do in my situation, ask yourself: What would it be like if you could?
The questions are the most useful and fairly fast way of redirecting your focus, unlocking yourself from seemingly dead end situation and gaining a new and different perspective.
What sort of shift would be required for you to result in a better and more useful behaviour?
By asking yourself different questions, you’ll shift your thinking, engage different part of your brain and you’ll be able to see and consider different possibilities.
What would it be like if you could? What would be necessary? What would it take?
Just by exploring these questions, engaging yourself and your brain, will lead you to more positive state. Even if you stop straight after, or won’t come up with many possibilities, just by starting and thinking about different perspective, you’ll unlock yourself.
Up to this point, you’ve been turned off and kept limiting yourself, now you can hopefully see the different way for yourself. This awoke curiosity in you. And you’re in more resourceful state when you’re curious, than when you feel angry or frustrated.
Reframing also works when you hold on to limiting beliefs by giving you a different perspective. Perhaps for most of your life you believed that your parents were controlling you by giving you extra restrictions at least more to what you have experienced your friends had until a coach or a friend reframed this old believe for you. At least your parents loved you so much cared of your safety and well being, not many children can say the same.
This is just one of the examples how you could start shifting your old beliefs especially unhelpful and limiting ones.
Let’s look more into beliefs. This is such a fascinating subject for me because most of the time they are like a little devils we keep so close and no longer question them. Facts that we just consider to be set in stone.
Think of one belief unhelpful, hindering one you’ve been holding onto for a while, one you perhaps consider to be a fact
Where was this belief not true for you?
When was this belief not true for you?
How do I know this belief to be true?
Sometimes we take on assumption and start believing it as a true. Could this be just your assumption? How do I know this belief isn’t false?
Put yourself in other persons shoes, or imagine you are an observer to your situation.
Check again for any positives in the situation.
What do you get out of believing this to be true? What is in it for you? The last two questions go directly towards self-sabotage. You may find yourself selling short and believing you’re not smart enough, therefore you do not take action towards your goal. This protects you from possibility of failing and feeling embarrassed and failure like.
So it seems You protecting yourself but you’re also depriving yourself from what you truly desire and want.
If the belief you hold is related to capabilities or particular skills, try out pretending and ask yourself: what would someone who could do this do? How would they act?
What’s your mindset like around this situation. What’s your thought process? Remember every belief is the thought you thought over and over again. Consider signing up to my free training Boss up. In this training I share with you 11 habits will help you cope with challenges and difficult situations and I dedicated a great part of it to work around thoughts, thought process, though patterns and beliefs.
In this training I turned the whole thought subject up and down, diving into absolute details of everything I’ve learnt so far in my training, from my work with coaching clients and I’ll share with you what helped me to get from my personal struggle of having depressive, scary and suicidal thoughts to now being able to help others get out of the rut.
Setbacks and challenges
Reframing will also help you be better prepared for setbacks and challenges by shifting your thinking from negative to more positive. The difference between and also effectiveness of our brains from positive and negative state has been the subject of numerous articles, conducted researches, blogs, books even.
Surely you’ve experienced this before, when you’re in the positive mindset, even though circumstances don’t flow as easily as they could be and the unexpected things just pop up, you’re able to deal better, cope better and resolve better. Situations get resolved and life continues.
On the other hand when you’re taking on and holding on to negative approach, it’s like a snowball rolling down the hill, picking up more of the snow, growing by every spin. The bad things just build up one after another until you feel like shouting out, gosh just give me a break already.
Can’t you relate?
Goal setting. Planning for the future
The same goes for achieving the goals you set for yourself. Goal achieving is a bumpy road with setbacks and more turning points you’ve planned for and numerous trials. This is when reframing will keep you motivated and get you back on track.
What else could this behaviour or situation mean?
What have I not seen/ noticed about this situation which would put a different spin on it?
How would a really positive person view this?
How could I look on the bright side?
So here you have it. The most effective technique to positive thinking and overcome any challenges. In the comments below, I’d be interested in hearing form you - what problem, behaviour or thinking pattern you would most benefit from changing your perspective on? I would also like to hear your success stories. Did you follow the steps I gave you and felt significant difference? Contact me and let me know.