What’s causing your stress and how you can deal with it right now
Study shows that 39% of adults in the UK report they feel too stressed daily and 85% of adults experience stress regularly
The stress is, whether we like it or not, part of our lives. You cannot avoid stress even if you shut yourself at home for a day.
We meet with demands at work, personal life and others, thanks to mobile phones every one has access to every one.
You may end up feeling stressed as result of the situation or event which is pressuring you. For example, you’ve got to make decision and give answer to your boss on upcoming project.
The time, without a doubt, plays a huge part in whole stress cycle.
Whether the stress is the cause of the problems or result of them, depends on the individual situation. What is important and what mattes is that you can always learn a better ways to manage stress. In the times when everything is going well and according to plan, we tend to work on the stress and ways to deal we it, because simply, we’re happy, not stressed and there’s no reason to deal with it. When we do start thinking of it, is when we’re in the midst of stress.
So you can learn to manage stress by managing stressors (external pressures) and by developing your emotional resilience to better cope with stressful situations.
Stress can cause mental health problems like anxiety or depression.
When we feel stress, out bodies release hormones called cortisol and adrenaline. This is the body’s automatic way of preparing to respond to a threat ( you may heard of this as fight or flight response). If you’re stressed often, then you’re probably producing high level of the hormones which can make you feel unwell and could affect your health in the long term.
Signs of stress
You may feel: Irritable, aggressive, impatient, over-burdened, anxious, nervous, or afraid, like your thoughts are racing and you can't switch them off, depressed, uninterested in life, worried about your health, worried about your future, unable to enjoy yourself.
You may behave: finding it hard to make decisions, avoiding situations that are troubling you, snapping at people, unable to concentrate, eating too much or too little, smoking or drinking excessively, restless, you can't sit still, feeling tearful.
You may be physically affected: shallow breathing, having a panic attack, blurred eyesight, problems getting or staying a sleep, feeling tired all the time, no intimacy, headaches, chest pains, high blood pressure, feeling sick, dizzy or fainting.
What causes stress?
Being under lot of pressure
Facing big changes
Worrying about something
Not having much or any control over the outcome of a situation
Having responsibilities that you’re finding overwhelming
Not having enough work, activities or change in your life
You may be under tremendous stress at work as a manager whilst dealing with a relationship break-up in your personal life.
Stress may but does not need to be caused by one big thing, it can also be caused as a build up of many small problems and challenges.
Why do certain things make me feel so stressed?
The amount of stress you feel stressed in some situations or as result of the series of challenges depends on:
1. Your perception of the situation, challenge or problem - this may be connected to how your thought process work, self-esteem, past experiences, whether you tend to interpret things more positively or negatively.
2. How skilled you are at dealing with pressure
3. Your emotional resilience to stressful situation
You may feel stressed when things don’t go according to your plan and your life goals seem too far ahead to reach.
We all are different, what you may find stressful, your friend may not and the other way around. For example, public speaking, You may be absolutely terrified of thought of giving a speech in from of all of your department, where on the other hand, your friend may feel excited about it.
Even happy events can cause stress
Believe or not, even happy, positive situations may cause you stress, like having a baby, getting married, buying a house. The reason why they feel stressful is because they bring big changes or make unusual and difficult demands on you.
Of course, there will be some things in your life that you’ll have not control over, this is where the way you perceive the situation at hand and having a effective perspective plays a big role.
Even if, right now you’re perceiving the situation in a negative ‘there’s no way out of this’ way, this is where even one phone call conversation with a personal performance coach could help, move you forward or completely diminish the stress you’re feeling.
here’s what you can do
1. consider what’s contributing to your stress
Take some time to reflect on events and feelings that could be contributing to your stress.
regular issues - paying bills, attending appointments
one-off events - moving a house, losing loved one, getting fired from the job, starting a new job
ongoing stressful events - like issues within personal relationships, stress at work, career dissatisfaction
2. learn to anticipate problems and avoid stereotype
You’re dealing and coping with a lot at once. Remember, lack of change, being caught in stereotype can also prove to be stressful.
Anticipating problem and thinking of ways to deal with it is a way of getting prepared, so once the problem arises, you’ll be equipped to deal with it without it bringing the fog of stress on your life.
3. Learn to organise your time
Making adjustments to the way you organise your time could help not only deal with the things that bring you stress but it’ll also help you feel more in control.
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Identify the best time for you to deal with stressful things so it does not create more stress in other areas of your life
Make a list of things you have to do
Create a variety of activities - balancing interesting tasks with the task you’ve got to get done
Agreeing on the right amount for you - taking on too much could end up making you feel even more stressed and we don’t want that!
Take breaks and develop patience.
The key is to break a big stuff into small manageable chunks
Address causes of stress
There may be many things you cannot do anything about, however talking it through with someone objective may give you different perspective so you’ll start perceiving situation in a different way.
For example: you may be stressed by lack of money, however looking outside of your situation at situations of those who are less fortunate than you, may open your eyes and help you realise, your situation is not as bad and can be improved.
ACCEPT THE THINGS YOU CANNOT CHANGE
Many of us get stuck in the past as if going over it could somehow change how we behaved or were. This is vicious circle and direct road to anxiety and depression.
Even though, it is hard to accept that some things you just cannot change, it is the way forward for you to happier and healthier self.
Here, we’d look at the ways you can focus your time and energy at things, you in fact still can change.
MOST OF THE THINGS YOU WORRY ABOUT ARE EITHER THINGS YOU CANNOT CHANGE OR THINGS WHICH MAY NEVER HAPPEN
You should work on your emotional resilience even when things go well for you to be better prepared and have better ability to adapt to change and bounce back when something difficult occur in your life.
EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE SOUNDS FANCY BUT IT’S EASY TO DEVELOP
Practice being straightforward and assertive - if others make unreasonable or unrealistic demands on you, be prepared to tell them, negotiate or say no.
Learn to relax - you’re busy and need to be on the go at all times to get things done and that is partially reason why you’re feeling so stressed right now. Taking time to rest, relax and nurture yourself is critical part in coping with stress.
Find time to do the things you want to do - this is about finding the balance, making compromise between the thing you’ve got to get done and the things you enjoy doing. It’s hard, but it’s achievable.
Make time for your friends - it’s easy to cancel meeting or dinner with friend when you have so much on your plate. You want to isolate yourself because you don’t believe they will understand your situation. This is what stress does to you. Don’t let it. Chatting with a friend about things you’re finding hard can help you put things in perspective.
LOOK AFTER YOUR PHYSICAL HEALTH
Get good sleep - being well rested can increase your ability to deal and cope with stressful situations
Be more physically active - physical activity like walking, running, any type of exercise is important for reducing stress levels. I personally do 1 to 2 hours walks at least 3-4 times a week
Eat healthily - when you’re stressed it can be tempting and easy to comfort eat too much of the wrong kind of foods but what you eat and when you eat, can make a big difference to how well you feel.
GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK
Reward yourself for achievement, sticking to a good habit, willingness to work on yourself, getting that difficult task done or even making a progress. There’s always reason to treat yourself and it does not have to cost a lot. Read my article to get some good ideas how you can do just that.
Take a break or holiday - take time out of normal daily routine. It’ll leave you feeling relaxed and refreshed. Even a day spent in a different environment can make a difference
Resolve the conflict head on - It’s never easy to have a difficult conversation whether it is with your partner, your manager, friend or family member but to hold on to conflict hinders your mental and physical health. You may even find that conflict was just a big misunderstanding on both sides.
Forgive yourself - whether you’ve made a mistake, did not achieve what you’ve aimed for, had a cheat day on your diet. Forgive yourself and don’t be so hard on yourself.
Do you often feel stressed? What helps you to cope with stress, let me know in the comments below
When you're faced with worry or problem, talking to someone non-judgemental and objective helps. It offers different perspective, and most of the time, solution in first 45 minutes. This is what makes coaching so effective, successful, fast growing and desired industry. Learn more here